Broke on Christmas

Wanted to go out  for Christmas Shopping so so bad. Too bad Im broke. Sigh. Sorry to whom it may concern. Dont have the mood if pocket's empty. ~_~

A Lame Poem dedicated to you

Although its only been 5 months, but i feel like i've known you like forever, (Malar ni. haha)
Im glad we came in the same timing in that nightmare. (if you know what i mean. LOL).
I've never expect that we could be in the same page,
Always laughs our ass off to our lame jokes,
The girl who always sticks to her trademarks 'Oh, Baiklah'..
The girl who is secretly a Pop singer with a great voice,
The girl who likes to say 'whyyyy~~~~~~~~~' in a weird melody way, (LoL, I do notice that ok)
The girl who looks like Angelina Jolie in a first glance,
The girl who can never live without Hot Coffee,
The girl who knows how to kick bad guys' ass,
This girl is also turning a year older today,
So Happy Birthday to you Jen~~~
Never underestimate yourself, because you have no idea what you are capable of,
Dont let a day ruin your whole life,
besides, 'its a bad day, not a bad life'
there is always tomorrow to improve yourself,
So i hope this lame poem could brighten your special day,

Whenever im ready..

Finally after 3 years of struggling in Uni, I have finally graduated. Words couldn't describe my feelings. One of the happiest day of my life. Being in that robe, mortar board, get to be in front of the stage is such a big honor for me. Its like being a Cinderella where you won't get to feel that moment for long. Ok, so i do know how to describe my feelings. *Sigh* Well, its totally over now. Im so going to miss student life. Despite that, I am proud of myself. Im not being boastful, but hey.. Going through 3 years of hardships in Uni is not easy ok. So what do you know.. Tomorrow, we will finally  come to the last month of the year. Oh time.... -_-

First one

I cant believe after 5 years.. the feeling suddenly came back,
Butterflies in my stomach, heart beats so fast it hurts.
I was so happy to see you again.. you waved at me..
I didnt realise how much i missed you so bad until i met you yesterday.
The gaps between us really hurts.
 But whats hurts me the most is that you're no longer the same person i used to know.
You leave me dumbfounded when i saw that particular action yesterday. 
suddenly i feel all guilty,
 it was my fault in the very beginning,
Despite all that, you were leaving and never coming back,
Thank you for giving me such wonderful memories,
You're always be my first one.

"Dont grow up.. Its a trap"

All i remember was that i was in the middle of my final exam in my final year in University and then......... BOOM! My 3 months practical has just ended , Done with my report (And i got an A.Thank God. heheh), convo is just about 45 days away and worst of all, i am continuing working in my practical company which i have to face with a crazy lion. I had to live in fear every day. I dont exactly know why i stayed. I could have just left and find others. But I guess its time to face some challenges now. No more comfort zone for me. The pay is not that much though. But you know what they say, there is always good things in every bad things we face. For example, although i had to live in fear every day, it just made me to be more aware of how i handle my task. it has trained me to be more careful. I do get scolded sometimes for doing some mistakes.

With that, i finally know how it feels like to be in the real working atmosphere where you get scolded by the boss if you messed up. I know how it feels like to be in the office where you have to handle a lot of clients, paper works and so on. I've been facing a lot of very rude speakers on the phone with the other so called 'professional' people. They may be the "manager", the "boss", 5 stars hotel who declares them self to have such "friendly" or "professional" staffs. But these groups of people are the meanest of all.  Pffttttt... Screw all that. Screw all you arrogant little maggots. You guys are nothing but a fucking maggot. They dont even know how to talk nicely on the phone and yet they call them self the professional people? You people can kiss my ass. LoL. Dont get me wrong. I do love my job. But facing with these type of people is spoiling all the fun. zzz. I tried to be nice but all i get is those bitch attitudes.

Ever since i've start working, im starting to feel a little grown up now. ok may be MORE. I get to feel that burden. Both of my parents are no longer working anymore. So as our responsibility, we had to work hard in order to support our family. i think i am officially getting the REAL adult feelings now. Soooo this is how the real adult feels like. Having that stress to support your family and then trying to convince your boss so that you can get higher salary, to take care of everything, and you can no longer buy anything you want because you would have to depends on your own salary now. And you would have to be very careful in spending your money. Sigh.. now that we have no more PTPTN, we're nothing but a hobo now. sigh. Despite those burden, daddy finally allows me to go out at night. muahahahaha... But still.. Growing up is like a nightmare.. 

Why do i have to face a boss that is fierce than the lion? Why do i have to face all the horrible people in my job? Why do i have to struggle to get higher pay while others get them easily? Why do i have to face all these hardships? Because God has his plan for us. All these will soon end. God promised it's going to be a very good ending once we passed these tests. Everything happens for a good reason. We believe in you God. We believe that Jesus is with us every time, anywhere we go.

I will rest in you, Lord

Lord, I'm in the dark,
Seems to me the line is dead when I come calling.
No one there, the sky is falling;

Lord, I need to know.
My mind is playing games again,
You're right where you have always been.

Take me back to you,
The place that I once knew as a little child;
Constantly the eyes of God watched over me.
Oh, I want to be
In the place that I once knew as a little child,
Fall into the bed of faith prepared for me.

I will rest in you,
I will rest in you,
I will rest in you.
Tell me I'm a fool,
Tell me that you love me for the fool I am, comfort me like only you can,
And tell me there's a place
Where I can feel your breath
Like sweet caresses on my face again.

Take me back to you,
The place that I once knew as a little child;
Constantly the eyes of God watched over me.
Oh, I want to be
In the place that I once knew as a little child,
Fall into the bed of faith prepared for me.

I will rest in you,
I will rest in you,
I will rest in you.

I am in great big danger

Heyyy.. you... Blog. I know i've been abandoned u for quite a long time again. lol. I feel like i've been skipping July cause i dont remember how the hell did i manage to go through my final exams, intern, ERIC SEASON 6 IS BACK and most of all i had an extremely short hair cut or u can call it as a pixie cut. How is that possible? i dont believe it myself either. For all this time, having long hair is my biggest goal and its like the matter of life and death to me. But now.... i realised that to have really really long hair, i shall start from the very beginning. and so i decided to shave my head and turn into a monk. Im quite happy with my new look right now. Although sometimes when i see woman with their beautiful long hair, i could imagine myself having a tug hair war with them. But whatever, im on my way to have long hair again and i wont give up. 

Other than my hair issue, i still do have a life. Im currently undergoing my intern now. Slowly, im getting used to it. I almost died from the boringness i had in the first two weeks. But now, the boss started to give me some easy tasks around the office which is good. I am such a stutterer when it comes to talking on the phone especially when i was asked to book a hotel room. To be honest, i have never done it before, and that explained why i dont understand what the hell did she mean  by 'single supplement' shit. Why cant they just be simple like 'hey, i would like to book a single room please' And then i would just expect them to say like 'ok, coming right up miss, thank you for calling'. there. Its simple as abc. Im glad i've managed to make friends with the staffs there. And at the first day i started my intern, there is this one lady who also started her first day too and i was not that lonely after all. God knows how i hate to be in a new environment, so He decided to send someone. :D 

Tomorrow is the day

Bring it on you piece of shit. :D

Current status 2 days before the finals

Mozart Helps. Trust me

Final is just around the corner. Final is just around the corner. Final is just around the corner. Final is just around the corner. That's how i literally feels right now. really... Seems like it was just yesterday seconds ago i've been saying those words. And guess what.. you'll never going to believe me what im about to say right now.. final is just around the corner... so as usual, im really struggling like shit. since this will be the end of everything. Yes, im a little sad. cant believe im leaving ums soon. sigh. Im going to miss everything. im going to miss my friends, making fun of the lecturers, the toilet, the squeaky chairs that always kills our ears, that messy tutorial room, the library.. the... oh wait. this is not the time. i'll save this for later. right after i've finish all the papers. ugh.

You call me stupid? I fake smile everyday and you believe it.

Have you ever been in depression and there's nothing you can do about it? yeahh... im seriously tired of that.. but most of all im tired of faking my smile and pretending to be happy when im not. it's really tiring. i am also tired of being with a bunch of people that you're not fond of. I am sick of all their shits. i need my happy mood back. Ugh. I would really like to be emotionless right now. i mean. Feeling angry, sad, moody, or depressed is taking away all my energy. you wont have to give a single fuck if someone pisses you off or whatsoever. how good is that? :)

YOU SHOULD TOTALLY WATCH THIS

 

Ignore the date. Got it from random website. haha. but WHATS MORE IMPORTANT IS THAT IRON MAN 3 ROCKS MY SOCKS! i think i might gonna get Dora the explorer's watch. Its limited edition as Tony said. LoL

Im sorry i've cursed too much

Event this. event that. event shit. event. event..event. fucking event. i am NEVER fond of event ever since shits happen. The last time we've organised an event didnt go pretty well i guess. Even in this semester. what can i say..? Welcome to the real world. where there's bitchy leader whose mouth is fucking rude, miss-know-everything who always interrupt people, 2 sided face which you dont know which to slap first, a timid looking dude but in reality he can be the meanest among all and the quiet one which prefer to just watch and learn. and that would be me. sometimes i feel guilty for not defending someone who deserve it. i mean, why cant i just stand up and just bitch fight with them? The answer is. Well. since i've been helping myself to control my emotions, im afraid i would just explode like nobody's business. And things will be totally different. and people would hate me, afraid of me or whatsoever. i wouldnt want that to happen. Plus, this is our last semester. We still need to corporate. But the truth is, i really want to let this out. seriously. i've been waiting for one day to just let it all out. sigh. i am such a coward. ugh. and bottom line, i think its about time you STFU, bitch. 

I dont want to live on this Planet anymore

And i mean it, literally. Perhaps, writers from some other planet is way better than here. I mean seriously, Why the fuck would Charline Harris do such a bad bad bad ending. My mood is totally ruin knowing this. i can never face this world anymore. Dear Charline Harris,  u just made a fucking massive mistake. Are you out of your fucking mind?? THE ONLY MAN THAT SHOULD END UP WITH SOOKIE IS ERIC NORTHMAN! YOU CRAZY BASTARD!! I swear you're gonna get your house on fire by Eric's fans. lol. Totally wasted the voucher on these stupid books. I cant believe it. Sam is no match with Eric. Sucks Balls. Totally agree with one of the fans:

'I always knew this was possible, but what was the point of all these books if that's how it ends? I mean, the word "dead" is in every title and she doesn't end up with the "dead" vamp? I mean, Eric is the only appealing male character in all of the books. I haven't read the last two books because I've been waiting to see how it ends. Glad I didn't waste my time...'

You'll always be my baby
source: https://www.facebook.com/alexanderskarsgardfans?hc_location=stream

Jealousy

What about it? people say jealousy is good. it means that he/she really do care about you. But for me, jealousy can be so hurtful not only for the person who are being jealous, but also to the person that is dealing with the jealous person. It's like this... if this person is jealous, he/she would say something hurtful to you like 'i understand if you've already forgotten about me'.  that is not true okay? saying something that is not true really hurts so bad. This used to be the thing that i wanted from you. that jealousy. because i thought u never care. But now, its a different story. The way you've expressed your jealousy and anger is way too painful for me. I really hope things wouldnt changed between us. Because you really mean a lot to me from the very beginning. Im sorry if i was being oblivious before this. But trust me, i've never forgotten you. I can swear this because only God knows what i've been through. Knowing you is not a coincidence. its a fate.. and with that, im really glad.. because if God didnt send you to me, i wouldnt know how will i be able to survive during that particular moment until now. You are one of my precious things. You taught me about letting go of what's bad. Thank you.. If it weren't for you, i would probably be a messed up creature. I will never forget you until the very end.

Lame ass

Im glad i still have my blog. Although i've been abandoning it for so long... its always here, and everything remains the same. Unlike Facebook. Keep changing their themes for no good reason. sigh. And plus, its getting annoying than ever. Oh, no. im not talking about the facebook itself. Im saying the people in it. yea. everyone is getting annoying. But not everyone. Especially that one particular person. Just keep your negative shit to urself already okay? no one wants to listen. Just because your life is all messed up, you cant just simply let out your bullshit thoughts. your polluting the atmosphere. UGH. bitch please. and one more annoying thing. what is it people with these status nowadays? like " oohhhh..i've been nice for too long, its time to show them who i really am", "I was a very nice person until u pisses me off, now i shall change to your worse nightmare". Oh brother... yeaahh.. i would really like to see them to morph to a tiger, lion, dinosaur or whatever fierce animal you can think of like LITERALLY. Now that's really threatening. i mean seriously. Its been 'YOU' all the time. people dont really change from nice to a bad one. The 'bad/fierce' personality is already in you. its been there all the time. They just need to come out at the right time. PFFTT.. lame ass.

Hell yeah, i am

KROKODILEERRRR!!

Again, everything's happening so fast. I cant believe that we are finally in our FINAL SEMESTER in our Uni and already coming to our second week now. As much as i want my Uni life to end, im still not ready to part with my close friends. Sigh.  im going to enjoy as much as i could during this very last semester. February is almost coming to its end now. Which means................................................. TRUE BLOOD SEASON 6 WILL BE OUT VERY SOON! I CANT WAIT TO SEE MY HOT VAMPIRE BOYFRIEND, ERIC NORTHMAN! HAHAHAHAH! coughs. heheheh. Ok. that will be all.

Thank you for all these gifts kee. I love you! heheh

lol

delusional disorder

That's right people. i think im having one.. Once i start watching drama that involves hot guys, i wont stop watching. They always drive me crazy..Recently im head over heels in love with  ERIC NORTHMAN (a.k.a Alexander). I keep re watching my favourite scenes in true blood like only God knows how many times.. Now that i've finished watching all 5 seasons, im really looking forward for season 6 around this coming April or May which i cant possibly wait that long. This is really insane. So whoever is in charge for the series of season 6 true blood, Eric has to appear more for heaven's sake. u heard? And i definitely want Eric to end up with Sookie because Bill sucks.

its weird

Just weird. i just need to let it out to someone.. unbelievable. It's really not what it looks like. ugh..  i dont even know what im talking about.

Its good to have u back, stupid brain!

Ohhhhh yeaaaahhhhhh..... I've been waiting for this day to arrive.  And its finally here..!!! WEEEEE.. 2 paper sux but who cares. Now that im on my one month holiday, i'll get to do the most random stuff more than u can ever imagine.

Just sit back, relax and bubble bath

Bring it on, you piece of paper!

Dear brain, i know i've not been making full use of you most of the time. But please be friendly to me within this 3 weeks of exam. After that, i'll promise once again you can turn back being your original stupid state.